Couples Therapy

Let’s do this together.

Get to the heart of the matter

Let’s start with honesty. Not the barbed kind, but the kind that allows you to be heard and understood.

When we start getting honest, we can get to the heart of the matter. We can start to develop real understanding, and, no matter how disparate the perspectives seem, when we understand them, we can sort them out.

My job is to help get you out of a winning or losing perspective. Both partners lose if one partner wins! Relationships thrive when we can arrive at nuanced perspectives that allow both people to consistently feel cared for and valued.

Healthy Habits

We all develop relationship habits from our childhoods. Some of our habits are caring and kind, but some of our habits can be unconscious (i.e., outside of our own awareness) and unconsciously detrimental.

I can help you gain awareness of what you’re doing in the relationship (both productively and detrimentally) so you can start handling yourselves and each other with more conscious care, and start taking steps that move you in the direction of greater health and growth.

What can you get out of couples counseling?

Here are some of the things couples learn with me:

  • How to listen (really listen!)

  • How to understand your relationship’s patterns of conflict

  • How to give feedback that your partner can hear

  • How to respond to feedback non-defensively

  • How to have difficult conversations without getting aggressive or withdrawn

  • How to accept and respect important differences

  • How to communicate in ways that foster greater intimacy

  • How to repair trust if trust has been broken

  • How to prioritize the relationship and give it value

  • How to respect both your individual needs and the needs of the relationship

  • How to prioritize pleasure  

  • How to clearly say “Yes”

  • How to hold firm and kind boundaries

  • How to create habits that make your partner feel cherished and loved

My client couples learn how to work through conflict and return to the connection.

It’s not always easy, but it’s worth every bit of the effort.